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Taken from Chapter 3 - Welcome to the family!

Somewhere in this restaurant is a lifer or two. Those that have pushed the envelope of serving and have worn out their resilience like an over-washed pair of fruit-of-the-looms. Those that have forgotten how to do anything else and are content to finish their days grazing on the patio. They gently smile and nod at the new servers with their brilliant ideas to make the job easier and casually walk through a helacious Saturday night shift. They have seen it all and have forgotten more than most servers will ever know. They have been weathered with time and the job is merely a means to an end. They are the ones that can forgive and forget, unlike their younger counterparts.

Stress Management from - "The Dungeon"

Imagine a busy Saturday night at your favorite dining hall. Servers are running back and forth, filling sodas while bussers are cleaning newly emptied tables. The satellite music can barely be heard over the hustle and bustle of the store. Now narrow that down to one server in his section. He has been weeded by one table, just a seemingly simple table with a man and a woman. The man has done just about everything within his grasp to destroy the server. He's run him for this and that, changed his mind on his order, sent drinks back, everything. Finally, they have finished the meal and the server is almost back to a normal rotation. He's cleared a table and has an armful of dishes and is heading back to the dishtank, when the man grabs his arm.

"We're ready for our check now."

The proverbial straw floats softly down to the camel's back, snapping it in two. The server drops all the dishes on the floor, breaking most of them while saying "Oh, here... let me get that for you." He calmly sifts through his checks, places it on the table, and strolls away. The restaurant is silent except for a Muzac version of The B-52's "Love Shack."

Taken from "Best One Liners"

"I know I look like a waiter, but I'm actually a human being."

"You're welcome."


"Oh, I'm sorry I thought I heard you say "thank you."

One of the Server Tips

If you work in a restaurant that does not supply you with a wardrobe buy yourself a can of Scotchgard Protector for fabrics and upholstery. It's great for making your shirt last a bit longer and resist stains. Spray it on your shirts or pants and let it dry. Respray the shirt after a couple of normal washes. Most dry cleaners have a similar product, just remember to ask for it.

(that's definitely not one of the best tips in the book, but I hate it when trailers and summaries give away the best parts!)

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